#12 | Man Crates – Porch Pirates Protection

 

Man Crates, a gifting company catering to men, announced Porch Piracy Protection, a new free service to combat the growing epidemic affecting people who shop online – having the packages they ordered stolen from their homes before they receive them.

With the new program, after purchasing the gift users can select a Porch Piracy Protection option during the checkout process which includes:
– Giant Mouse Trap: Guaranteed to capture and hold thieves up to 250 pounds, mouse traps are used creating 100% recycled crate materials.
– Swarms of Bees: Available exclusively during sunny weather conditions, swarms include between 50 and 75 bees that will surround and sting suspicious persons who come within seven feet of a package.
– Acoustic Guitar Guy: This option supplies a musician of questionable talent who will perform around your gift for tips and donations.
– Ill-Tempered Baboon: Trained at Man Crates’ headquarters, baboons are provided photos of intended recipients to ensure packages are not picked up by others.
– Creepy Clown: With males and females available, clowns will hide in shrubbery or behind exterior home décor to effectively frighten and ward off robbers as they approach the gift.
– Unavoidable Solicitor: An activist who hands out pamphlets and tries to get signatures for petitions to anyone other than the recipient.